MY HEART IS RACING | Player Unknown's Battlegrounds #1 w/ Robin
*W’PSH* Top of the morning to ya Laddies! My name is Jacksepticeye and welcome to PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds Yeah it is “PlayerUnknown’s”… which is– Robin: Why do we have to say the name? Uh, sorry go on Now, do your intro Now, do your intro Jack: Welcome to video game Let’s Play three thousand and two. *Both laugh* We’re playing this ’cause we’ve seen a lot of people play it and it looks really good, and we thought we’d have fun doing it, but disclaimer: This is literally the first time we’ve ever started the game. We just downloaded it, got into the menu, made our characters, and we’re about to try it for the very first time. So if we’re awful, all you Judge Judy’s out there, please be nice to us Robin: I don’t even know what buttons to press Jack: Yeah, but– Robin: So we will not die instantly. Jack: If we’re terrible give us some tips. Um so Robin’s character is Pixel Pip, cause he’s clever Mine is Pam the Spam because I’m way cooler Robin: Cause you’re funny Jack: And I have a, and I have a little BP symbol which looks like Boctor Pepper. Robin: Do you? I don’t see that I just see my swanky- Nana Na Nadine standing here. Jack: He made Nadine from Uncharted 4 which you’ll never see because this is my screen. And I just made afro diva. Robin: I don’t know what that means. Jack: Let’s play! Okay, we’re ready. We’re waiting, um Robin: Are we? Sure. Jack: What we, what we’ve seen of this game so far is like DayZ meets Hunger Games. Robin: Yeah, basically, and also the play area gets smaller and smaller so everyone has to go to a specific point You can’t just skulk around somewhere forever Jack: Yeah. Robin: Which I like. Jack: This was like a H1Z1 mod at one point, wasn’t it? Or game-mode and then the guy -the guy was like fuck that, I’m making my own and made it a standalone thing and now… Robin: Wasn’t it an HD 8 and that one mod? No, that’s DayZ. `Jack: Yeah DayZ was the mod of Arma. Robin: I don’t freaking know. Can we play- just play just play, play the game? Jack: I think my hair is a liability. What if someone has a flamethrower? Robin: That’s true. Mine will Jack: I’m going to go up like tissue. Robin: We can catfight, though. We can pull each other’s hairs Jack: Does yours say ready in the top-left? Robin: No Jack: Mine says ‘ready and waiting’, so. Robin: Oh that’s a button? Jack: Oh, matching server. Oh, there we go. Robin: Shit. Oh, what’s happening? Oh shit. Jack: Oh god. Oh, yeah! Here we are! Robin: Where are you? Oh, there ya go. Jack: Hello hi! You really do look like Nadine. Robin: Yeah right? And you look like the thing you said, I guess. Jack: Okay, do we have to do anything right now? I’m scared Robin: No, no. Right now, we just wait. People can pick up guns and shoot each other and punch you and you will lose no health and we just wait for the match to start Jack: Okay, should we be picking like map areas right now? Robin: Oh yeah, maybe so, yeah. Jack: We should stay away from military bases and giant fucking towns. Robin: And giant towns, yeah Well, the thing is we also don’t know where the plane will come from, I think, because people from the airplane can go from any angle towards anywhere.Jack: Hey, someone’s shooting me in the head. Stop it! *Random player* I’m a snake, follow me. I’m a snake, follow me Jack: Haha, this guy’s just saying he’s a snake Robin: Where’s the snake? I want to follow the snake Jack: How do I, how do I prone? Robin: C. Hold down C. No, hold down Z I’m a snake, too. I’m following you Jack: I’m a snake. Wait what’s in game chat. I’m a snake, follow me. Did you hear that? Robin: No. Jack: Okay, so it’s not tilde (~), like every other game then. Hello folks! Robin: I think we’re being shot. Jack: Well, it’s just- it’s preparing us for what’s to come. *chuckle* Robin: That’s true. Jack: Oh god. I’m so scared Robin: Where do we go, though? Jack: Their plane’s on fire! Robin: Yeah, that’s why we gotta jump, dude. Jack: Oh. Robin: Pick a square, pick a square Jack: Oh, I don’t fucking know.Robin: Press M, F, G, D E, M. I do- I don’t know! Jack: Can you see that marker that I put down? Robin:Yes. Jack: Should we go there? I don’t fucking know. Robin: Sure, let’s go there. Jack: Where are we? We’re so gonna die! Robin, hold me! Oh, wait, maybe- Maybe we should just jump out like here somewhere? Robin: Okay, fine. Let’s eject. Jack: Three, two, one Bungie! Everybody else in the plane is like “Oh there’s the noobs, there’s the new players”. Robin: Okay, do you want to know a strat though? Jack: What? Robin: If you -if you hold ‘W’ until you get to just before the white line and then you let go and press again, then you’ll half the distance left Jack: I’m going to pretend I understand what you just said. Oh god, all I see are parachutes everywhere. Oh fuck I’m like, right in front of you. Oh, it puts out the parachute on its own. Robin: Yeah, when you get to the white line on the left- bottom left, it does it. Why are you much further down? Oh there’s a lot of people.Jack: Oh shit, oh fuck. Robin: That little red house, let’s go there. Jack: I don’t know where you’re pointing at. Oh, this one over here in the trees? Robin: Yeah, yeah. Forward. Go, go, go. I see you down there. Jack: Yeah! Robin: I can spit on you from here
*Robin makes a spitting noise* Four people died already?! We have to book it for this house. People are dying already I’m scared! Come with me Hold me. Come with me if you want to live, well or die. Probably die. Come with me if you want to die. I can go on my own and die thank you. It’s JC’s fault dude! Fuck that guy. This is JC’s fault. JC sucks I shouldn’t go in the same…I go in the other house. Okay I found a backpack. Great job. And I found a found a fucking grip for a SCAR, I don’t have a SCAR. Well you’ll get one. Ooo yes, I got a pistol, I got a pistol. Dude, I got a frickin, I got a bulletproof vest already, I’m, I’m winning. So our mission is to get an assault rifle a SCAR preferably I’d imagine SCARs are pretty good. Can you is it only always third person can I not Press V and you go first person Oooo shotgun! No, I’m taking this machete. I just got a 12 gauge bitch. Well I have a gun. I don’t know what guns names are I’m not American. Fucking you don’t need to be American. Most guns are made by Europeans, well that’s not true Walther PPK. There ya go. Okay, where are we, I don’t know where we’re going after this, I’m a look um do I look like this tree? Does my hair look like a bush? Kinda. Your hair is kind of tree shaped. I don’t actually know should we like run someplace? Where are you going? I don’t know. I’m trying to figure out where the next closest area is. There was a lot of houses in that Look at the map we need to go into the white circle though. Oh yeah. That’s a good point. Jesus Christ, there’s like 17 people dead already! No worries we’re gonna make this. Are we?! You’re so far away! I don’t want to be alone. It’s scary, it’s raining it’s very moody I like it. Yeah it’s very atmospheric Yeah I’m really glad that this game because we were going to do this before but we didn’t know that you could just jump out together in a plane. Yeah yeah yeah. So what was it? DayZ? That you cannot do, that you have to find each other? Yeah and rust and all those types of games. Oh, red zone has started. Are we just gonna die immediately? No we’re not in the red zone so we’re fine Oh! If you’re in the red zone you get they just drop bombs on you constantly. Oh I want to do that, that sounds fun! It is. Oh shit, you hear it? I heard a big bang bada boom. I thought it was thunder. Oh, maybe it was. Wow wow wow, why are you all the way out there? Cause oh shit are you crouched? Uh, yeah. Oh that would make sense why you’re so fucking slow Well it’s scary I don’t want to be headshot. I don’t want to get shot on. We’re heading right into a big fuckin town though. Pochinki, we’re going into a pachinko machine. It’s one little house in a big frickin town freakin Ireland measurements. It turns out our voices are on in game and everyone’s listening to us bicker like a married couple. I mean honestly though I wouldn’t mind cause…Ooh pump action, get that. Should I? I don’t want a frickin oh fine I’ll get it. Well I only have a side-by-side I can only fucking load two. Look at me lean woah, doin a dance. I’m drunk ooh…Oh shit we’re in red zone. Oh fuck oh fuck oh god get outta here! We’re gonna die. No we can survive though. Have you seen the movie 2012? It’s like that. That movie is bullshit! I — I mean yeah. There’s plot armor and then there’s just fucking ridiculousness But it’s like that when the meteors fall I kind of want to stay though. We should go just outside the border and look back in. Dasvidaniya. Okay there’s, there’s buildings over here we should head this way but this is where everybody dropped. Don’t worry about it There’s 71 alive. Left for now. Oh no the bombs! Behind me! Oh god I see some of them I saw like a little orange flash. Oh that was lightning over there. Uh oh, uh oh we’re still in the red zone though I don’t think we should stop and look at the scenic. Yeah let’s head over to these barns. Let’s head over to Bucky Barnes over here. Okay look for open doors. You see any open doors? Because that means people have been here. No I just came in here and started robbing shit. Hey that’s me. Imma close this door cause sneaky. I found a backpack holy shit and a frying pan! Okay I’m coming in the door don’t be scared Wait wait wait wait wait wait no okay we’re still in the area because it’s restricting. We’re good. Yeah I got a smoke grenade. Imma smoke em out How do I equip shit. Okay. I don’t know Four is my machete, five is smoke grenade Okay, this is shit how do you how do you actually like access your… okay, tab accesses the inventory, E if you stand next to a pile of shit and you press tab, you can see it on the on the side there. Okay
I got gloves. Oh she auto equips them. I have a Where’s Wally shirt on! Oh that’s good, no one will be able to find you now. I know! Cause no one could even find Wa– *gasp* Oh I was so scared I thought it was something’s in the bed. There’s not though, don’t worry about it. Just a big ol pile of doody. Hello?! Dude I hear like gunshots all over. Yeah I just heard that now, it sounds like little raindrops. I’m gonna go upstairs because I’m scared. Yeah I’m already up here. Do you see anyone? I just look out the window and get my face blown off. Yeah yeah What does your elf eyes see? Oh I see a Jeep over there to the left. It just ran into that building. A Jeep? Yeah, like over are you seeing the yellow flashes somebody’s shootin over there. I don’t see them where are you? I’m right here. That building over the left in the trees, the little red house. Oh I see I see, my Elf eyes They see! There are 65 people left alive Dude we’ve almost beat the medium. I know that’s all I want to do. I don’t fucking care about winning. Oh shit look it’s a frying pan And an energy drink. And a tactical stock? Yeah I’ll need a tactical stock for my one leg. Okay let me turn up the audio in the game a small bit because if people are shooting… Shoot you in the head. If people are actually like going around and walking in the building I need to be able to hear it That’s true. I put it at 50% it’s pretty good. Okay I’m gonna scout. I’m scouting downstairs okay? Okay don’t die. I need you. I’m tryin’. Man it’s gonna suck if one of us dies and the other doesn’t. Oh Jesus it’s so freaky when you’re walking around upstairs and it literally sounds like someone’s upstairs in real life. Scared me. Really? Yeah, it’s like boom boom boom boom. Okay so we want to like go to the right then cuz all the bad guys are to the left. We, we’re like, we’re like actual Ireland and Sweden in a war like, “Ah, we like to be in the war, but we don’t want to get involved”. No thanks Oh shit look! Oh fuck another pump action Yeah get it. Can I replace , can I replace. Buy it break it, use it, fix it. How do I actually Oh. Technologic. Yeah that’s right Okay let’s look at the map because we’re going to have to move. We’re gonna have to move towards like your marker fairly soon The center? Yeah yeah cause it’s going to contract more and more towards Gattaca Okay and I do want to shoot people but I also don’t want to die, that’s high on my list of priorities. Dude we’ve almost made it halfway. Yay! Just by cowering in fear. Knocked out somebody with a head shot. I don’t think you know how head shots work game. The bullet hit them so hard they just blacked out that’s all They’re just sleeping that’s it. Okay let’s go this way. I’m goin’ outside Robin. Did you call me brobin? No, I’d like a bubble in my neck that might have sounded like that. Oh I thought you were mixing bro and Robin Brobin! Okay let’s run to that thing. The house the little house? Yeah. Oh God fucking lightning, thunder I like, I like this weather though. I like, I really like the idea of this game it’s just, I know how it goes, some people are just really fucking good at these games and they they seek out the noobs and blow you away immediately. Yep and also when you’re not like talking constantly you can probably hear people Hey shit look energy drinks! Aww. Dude Imma get a fucking helmet. Okay. Aww, I don’t, I don’t have my hair anymore. Can I drink, I’m gonna drink an energy drink I don’t know what this means but I’m drinking it I want. Oh it’s tasty. Oh mmm. It looks like Red Bull but it’s not call that cause you can’t call it that. Yeah, and it made my meter more orange. Oh shit the red zone is like right over there. Car left car left I didn’t see nothin, I’m scared. Okay Where, where’d you go? I’m right here behind the barrels. Hello! Hahahaha I’m scared. The red barrels, the exploding barrels My god, oh yeah there’s a guy on a bike over there. Oh, yep. Do you see that? Don’t go out. I’m not, I’m hiding in the bush. He’s coming here, he’s coming here. You wanna gang him? He jumped off he went, he went into the barn. Oh he’s going into the other one I hope he gets hit by lightning. Oh shit look! There’s the blue wall! Oh that’s cool! Yeah but if you’re outside of that you’ll take damage constantly– Okay –until you die. We should just go Yeah we need to. We probably should have engaged him We have numbers on our side Oh shit look at the white circle. We need to make it far. Ah fuck! Yep. I mean if we sprint no one can hit us right? Exactly Oh that’s awesome looking! Yeah, right? And you can survive outside of it for a while but you’ll take damage over time Yeh. And you don’t want that Nah. I think I’m running faster than you because I drank my Red Bull, I mean, bread dough. I think I drank my blue cow. Yeah yeah yeah. Oh shit forty six
people alive! We did it, we did it internet! We won! We did it! Uh oh, uh oh, uh oh There’s a jeep right there, there’s a jeep right there Oh yeah and there’s a lot of people. Okay run. Run, run, run Hide in this pipe! Yeah that’s where I’m going. Is this a bad idea? Is this a mistake? Why are you faster than me? Oh, because I’m crouching. We can’t go in. Oh shit okay. Hide behind it it’s just as good. Okay. I don’t think they’re coming here though. No they didn’t move I’m not going to this little thing. Oh shit the door is open though. That means someone’s been here. Yeah. They’re still there and that Jeep is still there bro Dude, I found a fricking motorcycle helmet. Oh haha I look so dopey now. Yeah that’s what I have on. Kick ass hair. Backpack level 1, no I have those. Okay restricting play area in two minutes. I’m gone Robin you’re gonna have to follow. What the sh– dude! You gotta let me know these things. Okay fine. You’re too busy with those bike helmets! *sigh* That’s true It’d be so funny if it was the two of us left alive and it’s like, well who wins bro Oh yeah. Cause you can’t win as a team can you? Nope. Or do you have to win solo? I think so, yeah yeah. Han Solo. I’m uh behind you meaning I have a clear shot you’re– gonna get picked first No, I have a clear shot right in your noggin No ho! Don’t shoot me! I’m a beautiful baby boy! Oh I have a scope I’m sight-seeing you in. Daddy like a pretty baby Robin. I want to do it we need to get to the white circle and than I’ll kill you. Okay. Ohhh shit there’s someone down here. And we’re in the red zone Just a little bit though. There’s somebody in that like dilapidated barn down there Dude let’s go fuck him up. Oh he sees us Uh oh, uh oh. Can we do the dayz thing where we like peek left and right constantly and then it’s like friendly friendly friendly? There’s no such thing as friendly in this game. It doesn’t exist K, you distract him with your body and I’ll shoot him from here. Okay he’s in the little one. If he gets on his bike I’m fucking him up. Okay. Okay you crouch up there? Yeah. You have a fucking shotgun though you’re not gonna do any damage up there! Okay he’s– I have my, my Walther pp golden gun okay. Okay, okay, okay I’m shootin him! I got him! Yes! You got him! Oh we got a bike dude! Get on! I’m coming, I’m coming, I’m right beh– Oh my god my fucking heart is pumpin! I don’t wanna get in this shit fucking side! I want to be the driver! Go! Get us outta here! Get up outta here into the white zone please You’re my Uber now. Into the white zone please Dude my heart is fucking pounding right now that was awesome! Tree!! No! Dude! Five seconds! Okay it’s shrinking. It’s shrinking. Do we really have five seconds? Yep. No. I, I mean it’s it’s shrinking now it’s a it’s a linear overtime. Oh god, is this going to be like every other online game with vehicles where they’re just going to explode? I mean don’t do sick jumps because we will take fall damage and just crash and burn. But how will everybody else know how awesome I am otherwise? It is true that is worth it Just do it Oh woah jesus! You just went through a tree on my screen. Oh fuck! Fucking nailed it! Okay maybe, maybe you stop at the edge of this big hill maybe? But people are going to hear us and then see us and then they’re gonna kill us. We need to stop sh-sh-sh-stop stop stop stop stop stop Don’t go up it! They’ll hear us coming We’ll leave the bike there. Yeah, good idea. Stay there Sandra You’ll make it. We’ll come back for you. Hey look mine that ore. Is this a Minecraft? Yeah this, make that loud tink tink noise Get some red brick dude. Someone was knocked out outside the play zone, what an idiot Ha! Fucking player unknown noob Yeah, right? My hands are still — We’re doing well I think — My hands are shaking after killing that guy. There’s so much — That’s cool though — That was what it was like when DayZ came out my first kill and that was with a revolver of a dude coming out of a supermarket and I panicked so much. Yeah and it’s like you don’t really get that sensation of killing people in like Over Watch or Battle Simulator or whatever It’s such a cool sensation! Murder is fun! Well also because it’s a permadeath and you don’t get to spawn for the whole round There’s a jeep there. There sure is Oh there’s a person! Shoot! Shoot him! Oh I knocked him out! Get em get em. Oh, did I just get hit? I got hit. I don’t know. Is he down? Did you get a kill? Yeah he’s down, he’s dead Yeah I got one kill. He’s dead. Nice! Fuck yeah! Don’t mess with team Drobin! He’s got 40,000 things. Oh score! Don’t, dude dude, dude, dude, dude, dude. I’m dead. Fuck! Damn it no!
Did you die? Yeah. I just saw him too and I fired a shot but it didn’t go off. I died before the round went. Oh man! What placement did you get? 18. Me too! Well that’s our team rank. Ohhh. Pam the Spam dead in combat! Maybe you can win as a team then, if we count as one number. Yeah But that’d be cheating. What if you’re a team of like 50 people, then you just win instantly. No I think you can only do a certain amount Oh okay. Number 18 out of 50! That’s a good statistic! That was pretty good, yeah. That was better then I was at school! Uh…yeah. Sure