SKATEBOARDING RECORD | Spyro 3 Year Of The Dragon – Part 4
[High Five] *Wahphh Top of the morning to ya laddies, my name is Jacksepticeye and welcome back to Sparx Eats Butterflies! Eat the last one Sparx! Yeah good boy Ok, so I figured out how to do this thing (annoyed) God I figured out how to run into walls a whole bunch Figured out how to do this while I was off camera last time I tried it once more, turns out ok (Hunter) Hey Spyr– I apologize for the last episode that any of you who knew this, I completely forgot All you had to do was talk to Hunter again (Hunter) When you’ve picked up a rock, try using the triangle button to aim! It was as simple as that All you had to do was hold the triangle button to aim And I was jumpin at shit! Trying to fly and shit! It wasn’t working! Enchanted Towers Let’s fucking do it anyway We’re here now, we might as well We’re gonna end up doing them all, so why not this one (ADVENTUREEEE) God, dammit Cause I did that literally when I cut the last recording, I was like Oh And I actually thought I’d be still done, but OH!!! This is a good level! I thought I would still be done from the last time, but I guess the save Did I save the game last time? Oh God, please tell me I’ve saved the game I can’t remember saving the game after the last episode Oh Well, we’ll do these levels anyway and the other ones off screen if I didn’t (Pablo) Those crummy rhynocs us to build a statue of the Sorceress. Then after we built it, she complained it was too ugly! (Pablo) If you ask me, the statue is much prettier than she is OH SHIT SON! DATS SOME STRAIGHT UP PABLO BURNING! Whatever (ha, ha, ha) Ah… Righty! Yeah, this is a good level I like this level HEEEEEHHHHH Fuck you dude! Get outta my sight! IF ANYONES GONNA BE KILLING SHEEP ITS SPYRO AND SPARX! is that another one? I love Spyro’s little run Flap, flap, flap, flap, flap! Hes like a little dog! Ok, now pick up this and then we can do this shit HAOOOOOWSH! Pretend you didn’t see that one! That one, that didn’t happen, ok This is the real one Haaaa WOOSH! GOD FUCK IT ANYWAY SPYRO! Oh god, Oh god, ooh… big mommas WEEEEEE! They kinda just fly off into the distance Its quite funny actually Can I hit you from here? HEH! NAILED EM! OH! If I had a hammer, I would have nailed ya into a piece of timber NICE! NICE ONE SPAR–NICE! Fuckin awesome Spyro, you’re so cool NAAA…These guys and their jackhammers! llllllllllllll Only one Jack Hammer here, and thats jackaboy! OW! STOP IT! ya big, son of a bitch hate them Hate those guys, oh yea, Those guys suck If I’m bringing people to my birthday from now on, its not gonna be those guys! ok, you don’t have anything to tell me, you’re just here to zap my ass HEEH! SNEAKY LITTLE TROLLSY HOBBITSES FLYIN OUT OF THE WALL LIKE THAT mkay What do we got this time? Gladys! Hi! HUEEEPHHHHH! heheheheh (Winng) We’re out in space, actually Look at that shit! Off in the distance Theres planets.. and moons… and all sorts of crazy conundrums HAAH! Well all we got goin’ on down here IS MURDER! Murder is the best kind of death! Get that Get that butterfly! Get that flutterbye Isn’t that what they used to be called? Flutterbyes? I don’t know ‘Cause they flutter by? aaaaaaandd Aaa-Wooshkie! Youuuu spikey bat! WINGED GREEN HUGE-Jawed Motherfucker Stay RIGHT there HAWOOSHK! That’s what I like to see HOOOOOUUUUEEH This might be a bit annoying, actually – this level Because you have to kill all the dudes to get all the things But there’s A LOT of dudes There’s the statue HEHUUGH all the way down AAh! Such…such beautiful gliding! I have an idea! There’s a rocket on the ground that has a fuse I’m a dragon – I breathe fire Two plus two equals BOOM, BITCH! GET OT THE WAY All the way around, all the way around? Oh it goes – OH OH it’s flyin around OOOWW!! GOD ALMIGHTY! JESUS! That was really fucking loud! You smackin’, there’s nobody there
Who’re you smackin’, there’s nobody there Go on, Smack your hammer OOOH, too soon, padre! Doesn’t make any sense, but I wanted to say something cool, and that sounded cool HAH HO! A bit quick in the draw there, are ya? I don’t wanna talk to you, I – (Jasper) The world breathlessly awaits my BRILLIANT four-dimensional masterpiece… just light all the rockets, and prepare to be amazed by my genius! You talking about weed? think he’s talking about weed HOLY SHIT it’s rainin’ a lot outside WOAH! Haha! I was like – it’s very loud all of a sudden, is that my PC making noise? Okay Go – Go kill all the dudes as well Go – WHEEE all the way around ahhouha UhHa I forgot Can I just kill these dudes normally? Probably not I don’t WANNA fire the green balls at them, mommy ha ha ha Spyro’s big fat cheeks HOOO AAAHAHO I’m getting good at judging the distance Don’t – Don’t flame me, bro Don’t flame me, bro HHOOH! Got ‘e! Pooshk! This game is so much fun, I am having… a really good time right now I came – all I wanted to do was come out and have a good time – and that’s what I had this time I wasn’t even attacked I didn’t even feel attacked Okay, I do not want to be here when that goes off I think there’s an egg on the septe (gets cut off by loud explosion) AAAAH! (Jasper) Oops, I forgot I hid this egg inside the statue. I hope the explosion didn’t hard boil it The BIGGEST Okay, THEY stole our eggs at the start – they took all our eggs and brought them off with them That wasn’t even the hard – that wasn’t even the thing that was gonna destroy the eggs the most The SORCERESS is the LEAST of my worries now, the problem is everybody else in this fucking game! Hiding eggs, puttin’ them everywhere, Hunter Peanut! That’s not a real name That’s more like a nickname Nobody’d call their child Peanut cuz’ this poor child would get bullied to fuckin’ hell and back Oookay there’s another feller up there that I haven’t gotten near yet Oho ho oho – Now Hi there! Oooo wait, are you the skill point dudes? I can’t remember 8 bones! You’re not skill point dudes, but you were some thin’ I remember that much I think I get an egg if I do it, or maybe it’s just… maybe it’s just skill points I don’t know, no, normally the skill points don’t show They don’t say like, ‘one out of whatever’ HMM! Curious! That are a lot of gemmers! Kill the sheep KILL THE SHEEP I love killing sheep, man, it’s the best part of my day Oh, uh, where am I goin’ ? Where am I going? I’m going this way I need to bring some of the – the… lil green balls with me ‘Kay, turn the camera, turn the camera, I keep turning it the wrong way! A-HEH! YEEAH! Good job, Sparx, you’re doin’ – you’re doin’ mighty work there Nice n’ speedy HYEAH! GET THE SHEEEEP!! KILL ALL OF DA SHEEPS! This is annoying though, ‘cuz I have to go all the way up and up and up and just keep coming back and gettin’ green balls all the time I can’t even get UP there over here Why even over this? Is there a secret? There IS a secret! Where there are secrets, there are eggs, and I’m ‘a gonna get ’em Skateboard level? YEAH! I fuckin’ remember this game like the back of my arse hn hn hn Wait I don’t have a front of my arse, the front of my arse is just my front okay Did somebody fall asleep while making this music? I kinda feel like they might’a done Wait, I don’t wanna do the skateboard shit yet, I wanna get all things I know I can get them while skateboarding, but SHUT UP, YOU’RE NOT MY REAL DAD! HHEEEeeooookay This is a harder one to do As you’d expect, as levels get on, they’re obviously gonna get harder Thanks for pointing out the obvious, Jack No problem, Jack! Glad I could help, good boy Love you hn hn Ah, those ones I’ll have to get on skateboard You know what? Fuck it! Let’s go up and talk to Hunter X Hunter up here, and see what’s it’s all about – see what the jimmy-jams are goin’ on See what kind of smooth jazz he’s gonna spout in my earholes – I fucked it up There we go, ha ha ha How to get off a skateboard in style – crash (Hunter) Isn’t this the wildest skateboard park you’ve ever seen? No (Hunter) Once you’ve mastered a few tricks, you could score HUGE points in this place!
No WAY! (Hunter) What do you say I show you some moves? Hunter, I would be glad – I would love to see you skateboard in those BAGGY-ASS shorts (Hunter) Let’s start with something easy. you can jump off the edge of ramps by pressing the X button I fuckin’ know, I was telling everybody LAST time Oh, look at that! Oh, you didn’t stick the landing, did ya? You cut the footage because you fucking SUCK! Look! WHOAAOOW! (Hunter) Okay, now try doing a roll. You can roll in midair *cut off* I JUST fucking did it – watch, Hunter’s all perfect How?! That’s not even physics! (Hunter) Hey, nice roll! Haaaah! Thanks bro, up top! Up top! (Hunter) Flips are exactly like rolls, only you push up or down instead of left or right Hunter HUNTER! (Hunter) – hold down the triangle button, and push up or down on the directional *cut off* UP top – motherfucker left me hanging! Sick flip, whatever, I don’t even care anymore you’re not even my friend I didn’t make it up there, but that- I have to make it up there?! There, fine, I PLAYED your little game, Hunter (Jack: mocking Hunter) Huhuhuwoaah (Hunter) – you must be a natural! Now let’s see if you can pull off a half-pipe spin move. The *cut off* Dude I GOT THIS in the bag! I went out to fucking Penny’s and I got a bag full of clothes, then I took the clothes out of the bag and I decided, ‘Hey, this bag is really nice for all of my sick tricks to go in!’ LOOK AT THAT SHIT! (Hunter) Alright! NICE! (Hunter) Now let’s see if you can do a 900! Get as much height as you can, *cut off* A 900 – let’s see YOU do a fuckin’ 900, Hunter, ya piece of shit Simple! You just twirl around twice! HUH! I did a fucking 10,000! (Hunter) Now THAT was a 900! Haaah! SICK! (Hunter) I have to admit, you’ve got some skills, Spyro But before you get cocky, let’s see if you can score some REAL points on the giant ski ramp Do whatever moves you want, see how many points you can get! I was just sick of listening to him Let’s see what Hunter gets He didn’t even LAND! Bro, you didn’t even LAND! BOOO! BOOO, Hunter, BOOOO! Everybody – BOOO! Jackie! Ja- actually no – Spyro! Spyro! *vase shattering* (quietly) I might have sucked (Hunter) WOW, you were REALLY fast! Thanks (Hunter) Then again, you ARE being trained by a MASTER BOARDER (Hunter) Speaking of which – Where is he? (Hunter) – a nearly IMPOSSIBLE now move that I call the ‘Gnasty Gnorc’, I had almost pulled it off when I suddenly ran SMACK into this dragon egg and wiped out! NoOOoo! (Hunter) Okay, I made that up, but you can have this egg AGAIN! It’s the only reason his pants are so big, because he can fucking hides eggs on me! Somebody made a really cool – Caroline… aw Somebody made a really funny picture of Hunter and he was just like: “What about these eggs?” and they just photoshopped A BUNCH of eggs all around him, it was fucking awesome… (laughs) (Hunter) – some one-on-one competition Heeell… to the yizzity yes! We have to go up against Hunter now and see who can the most points Alright, competition for two minutes Hunter, it’s gonna be like those two minutes I had with your MOM, except you’re gonna get scored on HARDER than she did OHH! I AM! FULL OF MY SICK, NASTY BURNS AND TRICKS wooAAAAAAAH! HUH! Oohh, Hunter, might as well call yourself the Hunted, ‘cuz imma FUCK YOU UP, bro OH, are you ready for a fuckin’ smackdown, bitch?! YES! YES! OH! MORE OF THAT SHIT! SPYRO’S GONNA FUCK YOU IN THE B! OHHH!! I don’t even have to do any fucking more moves for this I could just finish my moves now, and never do another move in this WHOLE thing, and Hunter would be fucked BRO!! OH MY FUCKING AREA!! This is MY TURF! If you had your own turf, make some! Don’t come all up in MY fuckin’ steez tryina fuck ME up! DAS A WALL! Fucked myself up that time, Hunter I don’t blame for that one – that’s whatever – but if you come across me again, Imma have to BLEED you I’ll have to bleed you REAL slow, like a pig People are gonna wonder: “Oh, is that a fuckin’ leopard? Cheetah? Pig?” NO ONE WILL KNOW, ‘cuz you’ll get FUCKED UP, BRO! HUH! It’s not gonna make it! Look, it’s 5000 points – Hunter! Do you want me to stop? Do you want me to stop gettin’ any more moves? Right now?
HAHA HO! Couldn’t even SEE me land it! I was THAT awesome, I was TOO good HUH! It was just a simple backflip, I mean it’s not all about style and pizzaz and flare, sometimes you got to do the easy ones Like that! And then you go – OHHH WHAT’S UP! Awesome! Twisted Lemon. Twisted Lemon! How do you like your lemons? Twisted? I fuckin’ hope so ‘Cuz there’s no other way you’re gettin’ them in THIS round! WOOOAHHH!! OHH YEA – (Hunter) I CAN’T believe it! How did you get so good already? (Jack) Because you SUCKED in the first place! (Hunter) – break my course record! Naw. Anyway, I guess I should give you this other EGG I found I was going to keep it for a pet, but I can’t get it to hatch (Jack: Mockingly) I can’t get it to hatch, man (Rhythmically) Y’know, when you got dem eggs? And you want ’em to hatch? I just can’t get ’em to hatch, man (normally) Hunter’s like that dude who at the fuckin’ poetry – the jazz poetry meeting kind of thing The SCAT poetry Alex! (a sneeze/fart noise) HEEBBPPPTT! HE was gonna do a burp or a flamey and he FARTED Aw, it’s so adorable Yo, what’s your fuckin’ course record? How much do you want to bet that I BEAT IT already? I got 5 6, I would’a got more but you CUT ME OFF like a douchebag! NEVER cut off a skateboarder’s flow, bro! (Hunter) You can go for the course record *cut off* What is your course record? I’m not even listening to you I just want to know how much I have to beat you by And how much I can shame you by It’s not even fuckin’ telling me what the course record is! Hunter, what’s your course record? Or is it that shit that you’re afraid – ASHAMED- to show it on screen? Huh?! Is that what it is, Cheetah Boy?! Mama not pack you a lunch today? Ha, you little BITCH?! Sorry When I get into it, I get VERY vocal Ah, we’re going down this giant trumpy ramp And HWOOOSH! Oh shit FUCK MY ASSHOLE! (TRUMP FOR PRES) Hunter, you threw me off… with all your shit over there! You were so bad, it was interrupting my flow! Yes, we can do this again See, I’m wasting a lot of time by going up here, but when you get up here you gotta do a lot of flips Some would say, even for days that you get to do it – AWOOOOOOHOOHOO!! OHH! Oh, I almost crashed! (laughs) How much did I get for that? I didn’t even see – ohh, OH! I’m going four-dimensional, baby That sucked, that was only six points! But, again, it’s ‘cuz Hunter’s over there looking at me, judging me like a big judgy-judgerson I don’t fuckin’ like that I don’t like when people judge me too harshly, stop JUDGING me, bro! Or I’ll judge MUCH HARDER back – I’ll judge like fucking JUDY! YES! Those are the moves Jackaboy a-like-a see-see! AH-YEAH! Up into the fucking heavens Up into the heavens! Hunter, are you feeling bad about your life right now?! Are you looking at me going: “Damn-” I only got one point for that Are you looking at me going: “Damn, I wish I was that cool” and then you wish that you were, and then you weren’t and I was like: “Haha!” Sounded cooler in my head YEEEESSSSSSSS! (HISS HISS SNAKE MOTHAFUCKA) WOOO! Oh, I’d feel so bad if my name rhymed with… Funter right now (laughs) Don’t cut me off… you sons of bitches The course record is 10,000 Guess we know not to laugh at Hunter anymore WE’RE FUCKING TRYING IT AGAIN! FUCK THAT HUNTER BITCH! He ain’t about this life! (FUCK YEAH) Uh… do over! Hunter! Hunter!! Can I start again? Hunter, please? (groans) Okay, let’s go around looking for gems – when I get all the gems then I’ll come back and do… do the doody-do Aww, I can’t get that one – oh I can! If we just get on a skatebaord and try How do I start over? ‘Cuz I already wasted time! I’m not going to be able to get 10,000 now I mean, I could try but it’s wasting my time and your time HOOOOOOWHEE!! Nice! Is there any things up here? What IS up here, actually? Wooah, slowness we didn’t even have to do the fuckin’ jump, we could’ve just come up here all the time and then done THESE fuckin’ badass tricks ‘n shit OOOHHH!! Just keep doing THAT over and over again Nice! A double twisted lemon-lime!
It’s like a fuckin’ ice pop Yes! Yes, woah! Man, I could’ve had – I could’ve been the best I could’ve been the GREATEST man, could’ve been the fuckin’ best (YOU COULDA BEEN TRUMP TOO YA BITCH) Hup! Is there a thingy up here? Nope It was just some SICK FUCKING MOVES to be had Hunter! Ya big… spotted stripe… BI-ATCH! HOOO! Oh, there’s another ramp over there, though OHH that’s what I have to do I have to go on the ramp over here – NO What’re you doing?! Have to get over onto that ramp over there So that’s why you’re able to go in here And you go up – aw it’s gonna fucking stop me now, right as I’m about to do the thing that I want to do I be whatever I want to do! Dammit! Okay, COURSE RECORD! Here we go, this is the one! I FEEL it – can you feel the magic? Don’t feel it TOO much, or you might break something, ‘cuz this magic is fucking STRAIGHT FIRE, bro! HOOO! HOO WOO WOO!! I sound like the police! Can somebody call the fire brigade? Because you’re going to need one! ‘CUZ SHIT’S ABOUT TO GET OFF THE CHAIN, BRO! Wooh I almost fucked it up Why didn’t I get any points for that please and thankyou? ‘Cause you’re discriminating against dragons aren’t ya? Sons o’ bitches Here we go! All the way up and down! Oohh sonny Come on Spyro let’s see what kind of moves you’ve got there bro WHY DID THAT ONLY COUNT AS A SINGLE FRONT FLIP?! OOH YOU HAIRY FUCKIN’ BASTARDS! Stealin’ away my sick moves, that’s fine, it’s fine I’m just gonna go up here and do this fuckin’ thing then I don’t even need your BULLSHIT! I don’t fuckin’ need, don’t need it bro Don’t I didn’t even do – what?