12 Keys to Success: Habits & Lessons From My Journey
Hi, my loves Welcome back to Lavendaire Today I want us to chat about success and talk about the keys to success, based on what I’ve learned in my journey If you’ve been watching Lavendaire for a while, you know that I came out with previous videos I have one on 23 Habits of Successful People, I have a Success Mindset podcast, and then I’ve talked about it in various videos, like the Dream Life Series and all that And one thing that I noticed is: Obviously, a lot of these lessons, you guys have probably heard before But there is a difference between knowing the lesson vs. living the lesson For example, with the 12 Positive Habits for your Body, Mind, and Soul video that I recently posted, I created this checklist for you guys, and they’re all very basic foundational habits But when a lot of you guys filled out that checklist on Instagram or something, a lot of you didn’t fill out all 12 things And that’s totally okay, because even I can’t do all of those things all the time But it just goes to show that it’s the action of doing it, the consistent action of living it in your life, that makes these things hard to do It’s not hard to know what it takes to be successful, but it’s harder to actually live it out So first things first, I think the most important thing you have to do is define what success means to you, because success can mean different things to different people Some people want a fast-paced life where they’re doing a lot of things, getting a lot done Others want a slower-paced life And there’s no right or wrong What matters is that you reflect and you decide for yourself what success looks like to you, and then you set out to achieve it The common mistake that most people make – myself included when I was younger – is to aim for a version of success that is not your own, a version of success that is imposed on you by your parents, by society or your peers You are only going after this path or this goal because you think that’s what you should do, because that’s what you’ve been told to do That’s what you’ve been told is ideal I just want you guys to understand that the notion of success is so relative that you can’t judge your version of success to another person’s version of success No one is better than the other We all want different things and that’s okay You shouldn’t judge other people for what they want and vice versa They shouldn’t judge you for what you want The last note on success before jumping into all the habits is to note that there is a difference between external success and internal success External success is appearing successful on the outside You have the money, you have the material things, you have the friends, the family, everything on the outside And then internal success is feeling successful on the inside And I would say internal success is so much more important Obviously, they go hand in hand You know, you have to get things in the external material world to validate how you feel about things But as you’re achieving things in the outside world, I want you to remember that it’s more important to feel successful on the inside, to feel proud of yourself, to feel happy, because that’s where true success lies You can have all the external success, all of the money in the world, all the clothes and cars in the world, but you might not have the internal success You might not feel good about yourself The beautiful thing is, you can actually start to feel successful right now, because all it is, is a feeling – a feeling to look back and be proud of yourself for what you’ve done, be grateful for how far you’ve come, all of those things are feelings The feeling helps perpetuate the external material success, which helps you boost your own confidence, which is the internal feeling And then it’s just a positive cycle that keeps you going on and on Alright, so now I’m going to share my list of key habits and mindsets that have contributed to my own personal success And I will also be providing a checklist for you guys so that you can actually check off the things that you’re actually doing, so that you become aware of the things that you need to work on, because like I said, it’s all about what you are actually putting into action, what you are living rather than just what you know The first key to success is 1) learning to be in control of your mindset One of the most important things you can do for yourself is learn to manage your mind, meaning: recognizing that you are actually the one who’s in control of your thoughts and you can decide which thoughts to feed and which thoughts to just be like, “Hmm, I see you, but I’m just going to let you go and not take you so seriously.” Learning to manage your mind is essentially learning tactics like having a positive mindset, learning to change your perspective on things, testing different perspectives so that you can see a situation from all angles rather than just one angle, and also learning to change your self talk The first step is becoming aware of the negative thoughts
that you might be saying to yourself, because we can be really mean to ourselves in our mind And then after that, deciding what positive self talk would you rather invite into your life and would you rather give more time and energy into, instead of putting all this energy into hating yourself and putting yourself down, because, you guys, there is no productivity in that Learning to take control of whatever’s going on up here is so key to success Number 2 is to 2) Follow your heart, follow your intuition You have an inner voice inside that is telling you what it wants and it’s up to you, whether you want to listen to it or not But each of us has that inner compass in a way that’s directing us, that’s guiding us to where we’re meant to go But sometimes we choose to ignore it Sometimes we’re so dense that we don’t even hear it But learning to develop your relationship with your inner self so that you hear yourself, you hear deep down what you want, where you want to go, what’s exciting to you, what you’re curious about – that is the voice that you have to follow You have to listen to it, because if you just follow what other people tell you, you’re going to be led astray, because they don’t hear what you’re hearing within And although everybody gives you guidance out of love– it’s okay to take people’s advice, obviously – but know that, deep down, you have the answers within That’s why I talk about journaling and meditating so often, because journaling is my way to communicate with myself And the more I journal, the more I understand who I really am at my core and what I really want out of life You honestly will never be led astray if you are following your own inner compass 3) Believing in yourself, having confidence, trusting in your vision All of those things are super important for success, because you have to be very strong in believing in your vision, believing that it is possible and also believing in yourself, believing that you have what it takes to get there And that is what a lot of people do struggle with in the beginning, because how can you believe in yourself if you have nothing to prove – no track record? And that is where, you know, faith comes in and you kind of have to fake it till you make it When I was starting out my YouTube channel and I was not making money, I didn’t have any views, I would still go out and network And when people ask me, “Oh, what do you do?” I would just say, “I’m a YouTuber This is my job. This is my career.” And I would just say it out loud to other people, whether it’s to friends or to strangers, until it felt true Even though the reality wasn’t exactly true, I had to say it out loud to build that confidence, to get comfortable with my identity being that And over time, over years, it really became a reality Number four is 4) you have to be willing to act despite fear And this means you have to be willing to take the risk, take the leap, because you understand that it’s going to be hard It’s going to be scary and very uncertain Growth happens outside of your comfort zone People who are successful always know how to stretch the boundaries of their comfort zone, always step outside of it and do things that make them uncomfortable, do things that are scary and different that they’ve never done before, in order to push past a certain boundary and grow And that is one of the biggest things that I believe contributes to someone’s success, is the willingness to step outside of the comfort zone and do something scary and different We talk about it all the time, but it’s something that you have to ask yourself Have I been living this? Have I really been doing things outside of my comfort zone? Have I been pushing my boundaries? Have I been doing things that scare me? 5) Successful people are willing to learn and figure things out When they come across an obstacle, they’re willing to move through it in any way that they can And Marie Forleo says it so well She says “everything is figureoutable” And you have to have that mindset that if you come to something and you’re stuck, you’re like, “I don’t know what to do next,” instead of staying there paralyzed, like most people would do – most people would just stop right there or they might avoid the problem – people who are successful look at the problem and they ask, “Okay, how can you I get through this? How can I figure my way through this, whether I need to learn a new skill, whether I need to ask for help?” A willingness to learn is so huge And it’s something that I attribute a lot of my success to, because in my entire journey, a lot of it was DIY, figuring things out I had to learn how to edit videos, how to shoot photos and videos, how to edit, produce music, because I was doing music for awhile And I had to learn how to build a website, how to do basic coding
And so many things, I just looked up online tutorials or took online courses to learn the skills to execute what I envisioned in my mind You guys know I have The Lavendaire Shop now with all these stationary So the Artist of Life Workbook and Daily Planner – actually, all of the products, I designed myself on Adobe InDesign And I learned how to use that through online classes I learned it on Skillshare So at this point, I want to thank Skillshare for sponsoring this video, because they are the perfect sponsor for this video, essentially Skillshare is an online learning platform with thousands of classes that fuel your creativity and curiosity There’s so much to explore on Skillshare They have classes in design, marketing, entrepreneurship, arts I’ve taken cooking classes, like knife skills I’ve taken flower arranging classes, watercolor classes But the class that I mentioned earlier was Daniel Scott’s Adobe InDesign training course Daniel Scott is such a great teacher in all things Adobe I highly recommend anything that he teaches on Skillshare, so that you can build your repertoire and add to your skills, because learning how to use Photoshop, Illustrator, or InDesign, they are skills that you can take with you for the rest of your life And they can be applicable to many different careers and opportunities Investing in yourself, sitting down, spending a day to take a course, that in itself can allow you to reap in benefits and rewards for many, many years to come, like I have with my Artist of Life Workbook What’s nice is that Skillshare is constantly adding new Premium classes to their platform so that there’s always something new to learn, and a Premium membership is less than $10 a month If you’re interested in joining Skillshare, Skillshare is offering the first 1000 people to click that link below a free two-month trial to Premium membership so that you can explore your creativity So click that link and enjoy! 6) Successful people take action They don’t waste time overthinking and over-analyzing They just do the thing It’s so simple and it’s so obvious, but a lot of people just don’t do A lot of people just stay stuck and paralyzed in fear You are not going to get anywhere if you don’t take action No matter how smart you are, no matter how prepared you are, no matter how much planning you’ve done, if you don’t take action, you’re just going to stay where you are It’s as simple as that Successful people know how to take action, despite not feeling ready, despite not having all the information or all of the preparation or all the knowledge They just do it It’s only through taking action that you will receive feedback, whether that is positive feedback or negative feedback Both are useful because positive feedback is like people telling you, “You did a great job. I really liked this.” That is useful information And then negative feedback is criticism, failure, mistakes, and that is even more useful than positive feedback And you only get feedback after you take action That brings me to number seven, which is 7) continuous learning Successful people are always learning nonstop They’re learning from feedback They’re learning from failures I call it “conscious steering” because you’re in a car and you want to get to your destination, but you don’t exactly know how to get there So you start going straight and then you get feedback like, “Okay, this is wrong. Turn this way And then this is wrong. Turn this way.” So you’re just steering as you go And that’s the journey The journey is learning from the positive and the negative feedback, and also not being afraid to fail Failure is one of the biggest ways to learn from your journey They say, “if you’ve never failed, then you’ve never really tried” Failing is not a bad thing Failing just means that you’ve tried and it’s okay As long as you take that experience and you learn from it, then that is a productive experience Continuous learning also incorporates reading books, reading articles, just absorbing all the knowledge and information that you can endlessly, because the journey never ends And always, always remaining humble and have the mindset that “I don’t know everything There’s so much out there that I have yet to learn, so I’m going to set out and learn it.” 8) Behave like a pro People who are successful, they are treat themselves and see themselves as a pro, even before they actually are a pro or expert at what they’re doing But there’s two different mindsets There’s the mindset of an amateur and a mindset of a pro So if you truly want to be successful, you have to ask yourself, “How would I behave if I were a pro at what I’m doing? How would I behave if I were the best at what I’m doing?” And that shifts your mindset This is inspired by the book, Turning Pro by Steven Pressfield, which I recommend you read if you want to seriously become a pro at what you do,
because it’s all about the mindset But it’s not just about how you carry yourself, like carrying yourself with confidence and believing yourself It’s also in the action since you take, the investments that you choose to make in yourself For example, I knew I wanted to pursue content creating and I asked myself, “Okay, what would a pro do?” And a pro would know how to use Adobe Creative Suite They would pay for that subscription And before I was using all these free programs, just kind of randomly using different apps to do things And then I realized, “Okay, if I’m going to really be a pro, I have learn these things and invest in these things.” So I would invest in good equipment I would invest in courses and just anything that helped me grow and up-level myself to a pro level Number nine is 9) consistency in showing up and doing the work So this is different from just taking action, because action is action But consistency is doing the same small things, every single day, that will take you towards your goal, because it really is the small baby steps that compound to create growth and transformation Consistency is like showing up write, showing up to create, showing up to make a video, showing up to do whatever it is you told yourself that you would do And consistency is tough It’s not easy It’s one of the things that I struggled with in the beginning, and I still struggle with it today, because showing up every day is a choice And sometimes we get lazy Sometimes we get unmotivated But the people who can have that discipline to show up no matter what, and that is what will get you far Let me share an example of the reality of consistency and how hard it can be So this is a Lavendaire example I thought it was pretty interesting Last month, we did the 10 Day Personal Growth Challenge About 9,000 of you signed up for the challenge You said yes and joined Vibely saying, “Yes, I’m in for this challenge, let’s do this challenge.” So 20% of you guys who signed up completed Day 1 of the challenge in Vibely And then 8% completed Day 10 on Vibely I’m not even counting how many people did every single day I’m just looking at Day 1 and Day 10, the difference that it makes And I’m pretty sure some people did skip a few days before doing Day 10, and you know what? It’s totally fine And that’s totally okay But I just wanted to share the stats of how interesting it is That’s how life is This many people are going to commit and say, “Yes, I want to do something. This is my goal.” But only a small percent are going to start And then an even smaller percent are going to finish and achieve that goal So think about that Are you in that 8% or even smaller percentage that completed every single day? Are you that type of person that is consistent, you know? When you say you’re going to do something, are you going to do it? Are you going to follow through and finish it? That point leads me to number 10, which is 10) being committed for the long haul I don’t feel like I have to explain this because it’s self-explanatory When you say you’re going to commit to something, you’re going to commit and for the long-term too So having a long-term vision and not giving up so easily, that is so key to success And also having patience and perseverance These are things that I made videos about in 2014, when I just started Lavendaire They’re one of the core foundational mindsets that I learned to ingrain in myself, to stay committed and to have stamina for the long journey that it took me You know, having patience, because it’s not going to come to you right away You don’t know when you’re going to succeed You don’t know when it’s all going to happen for you You just have to be patient and keep doing that consistent action And then perseverance is not taking no for an answer, not letting obstacles stop you and just pushing your way through everything that comes to you You might have hard years You might have challenging times But the fact that you are resilient, that you pick yourself up and you just keep going, that is what makes a successful person 11) Successful people leverage habits to their advantage What I mean by that is, they build positive habits to automate their growth You build in positive habits that keep everything going, keep everything balanced and growing For example, self care habits like meditating, journaling, exercising every day, reading every day These are habits that are built over time And in the beginning, obviously with habits, you have to make an effort You have to try You have to be like, “Okay, remind myself to read, remind myself to exercise.” But once you have the habit built in, it’s just automatic It’s just like clockwork, like you wake up and you brush your teeth and you can’t go on with your day until you finish brushing your teeth So successful people leverage habits, and they understand how habits work,
how to build a good habit, how to break a bad habit A book I highly recommend on this topic is Atomic Habits by James Clear Hopefully you’ve heard of it, but have you read it? And are you living it? That is my question The last one I’ll share today is that 12) successful people don’t go it alone They connect and work with other people There’s this African proverb that I love that says, “If you want to go fast, go alone If you want to go far, go together.” And that is something that I just love so much It resonates with me so much because in the beginning of my journey, I thought I had to do it all by myself I thought I had to do everything I had to DIY and figure my way out through everything When in reality, true success is done with other people, because you learn from others, you support each other You join masterminds where you can share stories and share knowledge and experience That’s where real growth comes from All the greats in the world, it might seem like they got there alone by themselves, but it’s completely untrue They got there because of all the people they knew, all the little steps People help you along the way in your journey and you can’t really expect or plan for it, but it just happens Personally, there have been many times in my career where I have been helped by other people or where I have helped others And it’s really just this interconnected support system that is actually happening People aren’t building empires by themselves It takes a village It just takes a lot of people’s help, a lot of input, a lot of learning and sharing And that human connection is actually a huge part of being successful So don’t think that you have to go it alone or you can’t ask for help because that is how you go far You go far together All right, I hope you enjoyed my list of habits and mindsets that I believe contributed to my success This list was actually a little longer, but this video just felt super long and I was like, “I got to cut it short.” So let me know what you would add to this list, if there’s anything that you think I missed, because there probably are things that I missed Comment below with your thoughts and anything you have to add Lastly, two books that I would recommend if you want to dive deeper into building this success mindset and everything: 1) The Success Principles by Jack Canfield I always recommend that book And number two is Kevin Hart’s book, “The Decision” That is a book I think exclusively on Audible, and it’s so good If you are a fan of Kevin Hart and his style of comedy, you will love it because the way he delivers is so fun and just easy to listen to, so it’s inspiring and funny at the same time Hope you enjoy, and I’m sending you so much love See you next time Bye!