How I lost 17.5 pounds in 12 Weeks | My 90 Day Journey

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How I lost 17.5 pounds in 12 Weeks | My 90 Day Journey

– Hey, guys, Cassey here I’d first like to start off this video by very clearly stating that if you are triggered by numbers and transformation photos, please don’t watch this video I’d also like to very, very clearly state that no, I do not have an eating disorder, no, I don’t have a body image disorder, no, I don’t hate myself, no, this journey was not for you, it was for me Are we clear? Okay, good ’cause we’re movin’ on For those of you who have been reading my blog for the past few months, you already know that I’ve been on a 90-day journey to get in the best shape of my life mentally and physically But for those of you who are just tuning in right now, let me give you a little rundown of why I decided to embark on such a journey At the end of this past summer, Sam and I had just finished a three-day retreat And on our way back to the airport, I broke down and just started crying out of nowhere I don’t know what it is about retreats, but they just crack you open and make you face things you don’t wanna face As Sam was driving, all this emotion overpowered my body, and I became overwhelmed with sadness, when I realized that I was not living the life that I wanted I felt lost, I felt stagnant, and I no longer knew who I was I realized that I was no longer my true, authentic self I felt fake, I felt soulless I had stopped doing the things that I really wanted to do that was gonna make me happy ’cause I was afraid You see, being in the public eye for over 10 years now, I began to say less and less for fear of being judged Back when I start Blogilates in 2009, I was pretty much blogging seven days a week But as Blogilates got bigger and bigger, I became more and more safe and less and less vocal because I was afraid of making people unhappy I went from blogging seven days a week to blogging maybe seven days a year ’cause I felt like I was always upsetting people all the time Any time I shared what I ate, someone would call me a murderer Any time I talked about my body, someone would say I was too fat to be a trainer Any time I talked about my heritage, someone would tell me to take the race out of it And the one time I talked about how happy I was that gay marriage was now legal, I lost 4,000 followers in just a few minutes So, over time, I taught myself to hold back my real thoughts and opinions to keep people happy Unfortunately, this caused me to become a slave to other people’s opinion of me, and I ended up molding myself into this vanilla cupcake whose goal is to offend no one In doing so, I lost my identity After the plane ride home, I took some time to ask myself what I really wanted And on August 16th, I decided it was time to make a big change I told Sam that I wanted to go on a 90-day journey to get in the best shape of my life physically and mentally I told him that I wanted to document the entire journey on my blog in order to keep myself accountable would return to what it once was, my safe space and my personal fitness diary I would once again be honest, real, and raw But I was hesitant I knew a lot of people would be upset at how transparent I was about to get I knew that for myself, I needed to announce my goal weight and my goal body fat percentage in order to keep me hyper focused I personally like using numbers because they keep me honest Plus, they give me something to objectively work towards But I knew that for the people going through body insecurity issues, talk of scales and weight could be upsetting, which I totally get, you guys, ’cause I didn’t step on a scale for a couple years ’cause of the way I would let it control my emotions But once I realized that I was allowing an object to have power over my self-worth, I saw how ridiculous it was and stopped giving the scale so much control Instead, I began viewing the scale as just a tool that was there to help me collect data points That is what helped me switch my mindset Anyway, announcing my goals publicly was important to me because it gave me the accountability I needed to stay on track If I knew that people were watching, I’d be less likely to give up So after reviewing the entire plan with Sam, I made my decision to announce my 90-day journey publicly on August 16th You know, I kinda knew I was gonna get some backlash, but I was not prepared for how much backlash I was gonna get Look, some people were excited to follow along Some people were genuinely concerned about me But a bunch of people were just straight up rude, mean-spirited, and in some cases, derogatory and hateful The comments made about my character and my intentions are the ones that made me cry I’d feel really terrible about myself for a long time Now that I’ve had three months to think about it, here’s my take on why my 90-day journey

was received with so much negativity You see, it’s weird When you start out teaching Pilates on YouTube with the pure goal of just teaching Pilates, and the people start making comments about how fat you are, then when the media brands you as a body positive influencer because you’re so brave for teaching Pilates without a six pack, all of a sudden you become a leader of a movement who didn’t ask to become a part of So, then, when you as a fitness instructor decide to do something heinous, oh, you know, such as maybe embark on a 90-day journey where you decide to eat cleaner and work out a little more, all of a sudden you’re branded as a bad role model, irresponsible, mentally ill, too skinny, and an embarrassment and disappointment to woman-kind Oh, and to add to that, let’s not forget how the good old media stepped in when I announced my 90-day journey and added fuel to the fire On top of it all, they labeled me controversial (glass breaking) So, anyway, I guess I can understand how I got here, but I just don’t understand why people have to be so mean and degrading It’s just rude. Stop! Okay, now moving on First off, I literally cannot believe 90 days flew by so fast, like what? It’s insane how when you’re so focused, when you want something so bad, and when you’re genuinely enjoying the process, it doesn’t feel like work I truly have enjoyed being on this 90-day journey so, so much With every day that passed, I felt more and more like myself again I shed away the old Cassey who is afraid of other people’s opinion of her and grew into a more confident, happier, stronger, and sassier version of myself As Hailey Seinfeld would say, “I love me.” Before I go any further, I wanna make it clear that I didn’t go on this journey because I hated my body I went on this journey because I loved my body so much that I wanted to dedicate time towards improving myself mentally and physically Now, I wanna take us back to day one I’m gonna read through my actual blog post to see where my head was at 90 days ago Working out used to be something that I enjoyed quietly as a regular person Blogging used to be a safe space where I could truly spill my honest thoughts But now everything that I do, eat, or say is critiqued Of course, 100% by my choice for being a public figure, but the public judgment of it all has made me a more timid, scared person I tip toe around sensitive personalities and just treat everything like it’s so fragile, but no more I’m gonna grab life by the balls and just live life the way I want So today is day one of 90 I said it. And I’m not taking it back This is a personal journey I wanna embark on to get in the best shape of my life mentally and physically It begins today August 16th and will end November 14th I wrote that my physical goals were to reach 120 pounds and an athlete-level body fat percentage of 20% In terms of wellness goals, I said I would reward myself with one self-care thing a week like deep tissue massages In terms of blogging goals, I announced in all caps that I will blog every day for 90 days as a way of training myself to journal and self-reflect daily I started off day one by stepping on a scale, measuring my weight and body fat, and then recording all of my measurements in my Fit Journal I started out at 136 pounds, the heaviest I have ever been at five foot five, and 24.4% body fat, which is in the upper range of fitness and the lower end of average on this body fat chart from ACE, the American Council on Exercise I also ended up measuring myself live on Instagram, which was kinda crazy, but whatever I was like, “If I’m gonna do this, I’m gonna do this!” So, let’s start out by talking about the workouts In general, I was working out six days a week with one day of rest It was a combination of running at the beginning, Pilates, HIIT, PIIT28, dancing, and weight lifting I was very consistent until the last week and a half of my 90-day journey due to travel rehearsals and shoots It was just crazy So, workout-wise, my routine didn’t really change that much from before the 90-day journey and into the 90-day journey The only thing that changed was I started taking dance classes And you guys, I have to tell you it’s been the best thing ever ’cause I just feel so happy I discovered this class called Heels And if you haven’t seen me do it yet, go check out my Instagram, but basically, you’re wearing high heels and you’re dancing You’re being super sexy, sometimes even raunchy, but oh my gosh, it is such a confidence booster! And the community of women in the class, oh my gosh, everyone is so positive and supported I just walk out of class feeling like a million bucks,

and I literally can’t wait to take the class every Thursday night So, that’s been really fun, and I feel like it’s helped a lot with reducing my stress and just making me feel good in general Now, let’s talk food The first month of my 90-day journey, I was doing lazy keto So, high fat, low carb, moderate protein I wasn’t calculating my macros or calories, but I was very conscious of my carb levels being pretty low and my fat levels being pretty high in comparison to each other I allowed myself to eat cheese, which I normally don’t ’cause I’m lactose intolerant, so it was actually kinda fun going keto in the beginning Then around 1 1/2 months in, I saw stagnation, so I switched to a more strict form of keto which excluded dairy and nuts So basically, it wasn’t as fun But at the start of month two, I was getting some terrible headaches I was constantly thirsty and super fatigued I realized that these were the symptoms of something called the keto flu Eventually, it passed, but then it came back again and even worse So I consulted a keto expert who told me that the reason why I was getting these symptoms was because I wasn’t having enough salt and I wasn’t taking the right supplements Per his advice, I began to eat much saltier foods, and I started taking some MCT oil powders, probiotic powders, and exogenous ketones It definitely helped cure my keto flu However, after a couple weeks of doing all of that, I came to the conclusion that if keto required me to take all of these extra things to feel balanced, then keto probably wasn’t the right thing for me I’m a huge believer in letting food be my medicine and medicine be my food So around mid-month two, I began to incorporate more fruits, and I began lowering my fat intake My staples were berries and kombucha Oh my gosh, I love kombucha so much! Oh, and there was this whole phase of me eating pumpkin pie hummus You guys can get it at Costco. It’s so good I felt so much better and so much more balanced Plus, there were no more headaches, no more fatigue, and no more dry mouth But then things started to stagnate again, so I decided to get honest with myself I started calorie count I didn’t wanna do this originally, but I suspected that I was overeating, and I wanted to know for sure, and by how much So, by the end of month two and into month three, I was tracking all of my food in MyFitnessPal Originally, I was dreading the fact that I have to do this, but actually, I ended up weirdly enjoying it Tracking my food so meticulously relieved a lot of stress for my life Before tracking, I was always calculating in my head what I was consuming But the moment I started logging immediately relieved my brain of that duty and gave me much needed mental space to breathe! Food no longer was guesswork It was a fact, and that made me feel at ease So, did it work? Well, here’s a graph of my weight change every day over the past 90 days Some people may call it daily weighing obsessive, but I call it consistent data point collection As you can see, my 90-day journey was not a straight line down There are plenty of ups, plenty of downs, and plateaus Three prominent plateaus in fact I am so happy I wrote down every single little thing about what I ate, how I felt, how much I was sleeping, and what my workouts were in my Fit Journal because now I can tell you exactly why those plateaus happened Also, I kinda enjoyed doing this because I felt like I was doing a science experiment on my body, loved it Here was my first plateau As you can see, I was making great progress doing keto until about August 21st During this time, I was snacking on nuts and cheeses quite a bit I had not started calorie-checking yet, but I was consuming a lot of nuts and cheese simply because it was keto-friendly and it was super fun On September 6th, I decided to stop eating so much dairy, and that is what helped me pushed past my first plateau Plateau number two, it was the nuts Instead of snacking on nuts and cheese, I was snacking on nuts, nuts, and more nuts It was at this point that I decided it was time to get honest with myself about how many calories I was actually consuming, even though they were healthy calories Clearly, I wasn’t reading So on September 26th, I started logging my food in MyFitnessPal while cutting out the nuts This is how I pushed past my second plateau Right here, you can see my third plateau Food-wise, there wasn’t anything I could really pinpoint to this plateau But in reading through my Fit Journal again, it seems that I didn’t sleep very much during this time period, as we had a huge shoot I was prepping for on October 11th The plateau was caused by a severe lack of sleep that increased the levels of the stress hormone cortisol in my body, which made me hold onto more fat during this time period

For those of you who have been reading my blog, you’ve probably seen these charts that I’ve been filling out every week for the past 12 1/2 weeks I recorded my weight, body fat percentage, and muscle mass percentage every seven days, and calculated my changes so I could see if I was on track towards hitting my goals I actually loved doing this There was something so satisfying about weighing in no matter if the number was higher or lower I felt accountable, and I really like that So, did I meet my goals? Blog-wise, my goal was to write every day for 90 days I ended up blogging for 88 days out of the 90 because two of the days I was so sleepy, I just couldn’t stay up any longer But 88 out of 90 is a 97.7% success rate, and that is a solid A in the academia world So I’m gonna say I crushed that goal Self-care-wise, I was supposed to do something nice for myself every week I didn’t actually track this, but I can tell you that I got more deep tissue massages and took more dance classes in the past three months than compared to the rest of the year I’m proud that I made self-care a priority because I think it really helped keep my spirits lifted and my mind calm when the judgment was getting really bad Body-fat-wise, my original goal was get to 20% Day one, I was at 24.4%, and on day 90, I got to 20.8% So close I didn’t exactly make a completely into athlete-level body fat range Hey, but that’s okay I only had 90 days, so that is definitely something that I can work on, but I’m still proud of myself because I got in the 20s range Weight-wise, my original goal was to get to 120 pounds I started out at 136 pounds, which is the heaviest I had ever been, and on my 90th day, I weighed in at 118.6 pounds This was craziness because I honestly thought I wasn’t gonna make my goal There was so many plateaus, and I was traveling and also did crazy stuff I really just didn’t know what was gonna happen However, from the beginning, I prepped my mind for the possible outcomes so that I wouldn’t be disappointed Obviously, if I made it, great But if I didn’t, I told myself that I’d be okay because the goals were just destinations to walk towards The treasures weren’t waiting for me at the end They were already here They were sprinkled throughout the entire journey every day for me to find So, I ended up losing 17.4 pounds and 3.6% body fat over the course of 90 days And I gained so much confidence and so much more happiness in exchange It’s crazy for me to look at this number because I’ve never actually lost so much weight in my entire life Okay, ready for the before and after? Here we go Here’s my front shot (gently chiming bells) OMG. Okay, when I first saw this, I was like whoa I never felt cool enough to use the term snatched waist before But if I ever were to have a snatched waist, this might be it Also, I love how strong my arms look Here’s my side shot. Two things I noticed here First, my abs flattened out a lot And secondly, do you see that mini lift in my butt? No, look even closer, even closer See that? Yeah, ’cause I do! Hey, small progress is still progress And here is my back shot (gently chiming bells) My back muscles be poppin’, and I love how strong I look because it reflects how I feel on the inside During my 90-day journey, I gave myself grace and space to experiment I allowed for failure and flexibility Calorie-wise, some days I was over 2,000 and other days I stayed around 1,300 Flexibility was the key here, you guys Had I started out saying, “I’m gonna do keto for 90 days,” I don’t think I would have had the results I have today And if I did, I would have felt completely restricted I wanted to find a diet that I could sustain for the long haul You know what I’m most proud of, though? I’m most proud of getting through this 90-day journey on my own terms You see, the only other two times in my life when I went on an intentional fat-loss journey, I was guided by male personal trainers Now look, I appreciated their guidance and the accountability they gave me to stay on track However, I did not love the food I ate, and I did not truly enjoy my workouts either Everything was strict, and there was no room for flexibility As much as I enjoyed the progress I was seeing, I wanted it to be over so bad because I couldn’t see myself sustaining that lifestyle forever Let’s do a little storytime, especially for those of you who may not know this So, back in 2012, I entered a bikini competition under the supervision of a body-building coach I lost 13 pounds in eight weeks and got down to 113 pounds

The whole time I felt like I was in this food jail My brain got cloudy, I couldn’t think straight, I was moody and mean, and all I cared about was how I looked Every day I wanted to be off my diet so bad because I was eating around 1,000 calories a day of egg whites, protein powder, chicken breast, broccoli The food was so bland, and my entire digestive system got so messed up from all of the protein Plus, I was working out four hours a day doing intense weight lifting and HIIT, so my body was totally depleted After my eight weeks were over, I was left with severe metabolic damage, and my body was no longer functioning normally Sometimes salad would make me gain weight, and sometimes pizza would make me lose weight, and vice versa I just never knew I was completely messed up physically and mentally, and that’s when orthorexia took over my life I was scared of eating bananas because I was afraid they’d make me fat I was scared of scales because any time the number was higher, I’d curl up in fetal position and cry ’cause I hated my body for betraying me I was scared of looking at myself in the mirror because I would notice every part of my body that was no longer looking toned I was scared to upload videos because every time a new workout video would go up, someone would ask why I was getting fatter It took me years to retrain my body and my brain to embrace itself instead of going against itself And all I can say is that I’m so happy that I’m no longer anywhere near that unhealthy state of mind I do wanna be clear with you guys It’s not because I lost weight, and I feel like I’m no longer unhealthy in my mind I mean that I have fully embraced my body from day one to day 90, and I’m going to continue that journey of self-love for the rest of my life No matter if I’m losing weight or gaining weight, or gaining muscle or whatever, I accept myself every day, and I appreciate my body for what it can do every single day Anyway, let’s take a look at my measurements because weight alone does not tell the whole story I lost two inches off of my chest, one inch off my right arm, one inch off my left arm, two inches off my waist, 1.75 inches off my hips, and weirdly, I lost 1.25 inches off my right thigh and 1.75 inches off my left thigh I’m asymmetrical. But we all are That’s a total of 10.75 inches over my entire body That’s crazy Since I collected so much data over the past 90 days, I wanted to spend some time putting together graphs of certain things I recorded in case I might discover something unusual about the way my body reacted to different calories and macro breakdowns This is what I found In regards to weight versus caloric intake, I noticed that in general, the less calories I consumed, the lower my weight became This would seem super obvious, but it’s necessary to point out since there are a lot of theories out there about starvation mode Starvation mode is supposed to be your body’s natural response to long-term caloric restriction It’s your body responding to reduced calorie intake by reducing caloric expenditure to maintain energy, balance, and prevent starvation Technically, it’s called adaptive thermogenesis Anyway, I didn’t experience that starvation mode, as the lowest I ever went was around 1,200 calories, but even so, it was never really that consistently low like that My calories fluctuated a lot based on what I felt like eating that day In regards to weight versus protein percent intake, the more protein I consumed, that’s percentage-wise, in comparison to fat and carbs, the lower my weight became In regards to weight versus fat percent intake, the less fat I consumed, the lower my weight became In regards to weight versus carb percent intake, the more carbs I consumed, the lower my weight became What’s interesting to me is that in my genetic fit blood test that I did at a health clinic a month into my journey, my reports told me that the best diet for fat loss for me would be a low carb diet that was about 30% fat, 40% carbs, and 30% protein When I got these results back, it was during this time I was also experiencing my issues with keto So, it was a no-brainer for me to go away from the high-fat consumption, given the symptoms I was having, the stagnation of weight on the scale, and also the test was telling me I should try something different It’s clear to me now that keto was not the diet for me As you can see above, the less fat I ate, the more weight I lost And the more carbs and protein I ate, the more weight I lost This is the exact opposite of what keto is

I’m so happy I tried it, though, because for sure, it helped jumpstart my 90-day journey, and it was really fun in the beginning I know that keto has worked for a ton of people So, if you’re curious, go ahead and give it a shot Maybe it will work better for your body than it did for mine Remember, we are all unique So there you have it, guys From the beginning, I said I was going to do this for me, and I kept true to that Unexpected challenges arose during my journey, but I kept going back to my why I wanted to get in the best shape of my life mentally and physically I feel so proud for completing my 90 days, and completing it with total love and compassion for myself The extra negativity I got externally for sure put a lot of unnecessary stress on my well-being, but I got through it I originally had thought that the hardest part of my 90-day journey was going to be the food, but it turned out that food was the least of my worries I found myself constantly trying to defend myself against the negativity, which honestly exhausted me and just made me feel really, really bad I don’t know why I put myself through the torture, but I read through all of the comments as they started pouring in I let them make me cry. I let them hurt my self-confidence I let them deprive me of my happiness when I should have been celebrating small victories It’s something that I still need to work on I’m not good at not letting other people’s opinion of me affect my well-being, but it’s a goal of mine to stop caring as much As an overly empathetic, sensitive, and emotionally-aware person who is also a natural people-pleaser, I’ve got a lot of internal work to do before I can stop caring But I will say this I read comments because I wanna understand the truth, and I always want to face reality I never ever want to be delusionally or ignorantly blissful In between the negativity, though, there were some genuinely concerned POPsters who wanted to make sure I wasn’t relapsing, and for that, I thank you And for those who cheered me on, I want you to know that I’m so happy grateful for you I felt your positivity And for those who started their own 90-day journeys, I’m sending you my strength and my motivation, and I wish you so much success And for those who left nasty comments, I hope you find the love you needed to heal yourself Finally, I need to give a special shoutout to my husband Sam He was the one who encouraged me to go on this 90-day journey, and he was the one to pick me up and dance silly with me whenever I broke down and ugly cried over the past three months, which happened kind of a lot He sees me in my worst form and still loves me somehow, so for that, I am so lucky Thank you, guys, for following along I’m feeling extra ready to crush 2020, and already I’m planning a super cool January challenge for you and for me I’d love to know what you thought of my 90-day journey, so leave a comment down below My extra emotional, empathetic, and sensitive self will be reading through them all and taking each comment to heart Bye, you guys. Love you so much (intense music)