Why It's So Hard To Love Yourself

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Why It's So Hard To Love Yourself

Hello. How do you like my glasses? How do you like my glasses? I just got these Welcome to another trigger proof transmission I just got these because I’m writing a book and it’s really hard on the eyes so, I got these little blue blockers and how do you like them? What do you think? What do you think? And one of my clients today said that they look pretty, cool. So, what I’ll take that if if I can protect these bad boys while also, looking pretty I’ll take it, thank you very much, yes thank you Welcome to another trigger proof transmission. I’ve been doing them not at specific times, I’m gonna try to figure out a time that works best and come and drop in some truth daily. If you’re watching on replay on YouTube because these are also, published on YouTube give me a hashtag replay and let me know what your biggest takeaway is talking about self-love because everybody’s talking about it right now, and there’s so many memes out there and it’s all bullsh*t because I can tell you to love yourself, I can say “oh, what you should love yourself?” I can tell you that you can listen to your teenage daughter complaining that she hates herself and she hates her life and you should know why you should love yourself, right? And they have a chat challenge, you look watching them going how could you not love yourself? Like you’re so lovable, look at you but then it’s like can you say the same about you? Right? And why is it that this is so difficult? I remember it was about two years ago and I was in a really difficult place in my breakup, I had just broken up in my relationship and it was a codependent relationship, there it was a bullsh*t that led me into learning about nervous system regulation and the whole trigger proof concept was born because nothing could stop me from being so reactive, nothing could stop her from becoming so reactive, knocking us back into our childhood wounds and then acting from a wounded place, kind of like that’s what they call toxic relationship. Even though I’m not so crazy about the term because I just don’t believe people are toxic, I believe that we’re just wounded, we’re all so wounded, tortured souls that don’t know how to connect to themselves and so our shadow self comes out, our lower nature comes out and then when you see somebody who’s angry, you see somebody who’s manipulative, you see somebody who is resentful and acting out of vengeance you can say that they’re toxic and the truth of the matter is they’re just acting out of their wounds, they’re acting from a place of scarcity Thank you. Thank you, Don! I appreciate that I’m vent gonna be using the blue blockers. Now so, why don’t we so? I had to ask this my friend Laura. She was on the call with me and I was telling her about how shitty my life was and she goes, “oh honey! you don’t love yourself.” She’s got this beautiful Venezuelan accent, “oh you don’t love yourself, you have to love yourself”, and I’m like “okay”. So, how the bullsh*t do I do that, excuse me pardon my language, I’m working on that How the hell do I do that? How the hell do I do that conceptually I get it, okay. But how is it? What are we talking about bubble baths? Are we talking about giving myself massages and pedicures and stuff because that to me is what self-love is, it sounds so crazy right, like it’s so weird. Then I realize as I went on that journey and I really got a felt sense and understanding of it that love is not something that you say, ”I love you” Love is a feeling, love must be felt, love is not a thought, love is a feeling, it must be felt and which giving means there must be access to it in the body and I realized I never really understood what love was because I didn’t know what self-love actually was So, in order for me to go through the journey of understanding how to love myself, I had to first understand why I didn’t love myself This is the great, this is the thing as because you’re in this community and you’re here is because especially if you’re in the trigger proof Facebook group, if you haven’t joined you’re on face on YouTube, please go ahead and Facebook and join our trigger proof Facebook group and if you’re here, you are it’s because you’re walking up the mountain of a secure

attached relationship I don’t care how successful in a boss babe or a a king you are at work, if you’re unable to hold the container of loving ourselves then there’s no way that a relationship can be securely attached Let me say that again if I do not have any concept or idea or understanding of how or why I love myself, how to love myself and why? What stops me from loving myself? Then there’s no way that I’m going to be able to have a secure attached relationship and people say, “oh self-love”. I thought it’s a self-worth thing, self-love thing. My issue is a self-worth thing but I disagree because I think I’m amazing I’m so good, I’m so amazing, I’m so this, I’m so that, I have all of these qualifications and then you’re gonna give me all of your things is what I hear from clients, the truth of the matter is if you are basing your worth on these accomplishments that makes you worthy of love then you’re missing the point of self-love, that’s the whole thing and if this is confusing to you, get in line. I understand because it was completely confusing to me until I started to understand what it was that happened in my life, that caused me to not love myself, that caused me to not feel worthy of having a really great relationship, that got extremely emotionally triggered when somebody would criticize me because my ego was trying to block all of those parts of me that I didn’t love, that’s one of those things that happened when you don’t love yourself. You’re not able to have communication with other people, that’s honest because you’re putting on a mask and trying to hide and pretend that your truth is not true, number one. You probably don’t have any access to your truth, let alone enough courage to speak it When you don’t have that then you don’t have intimacy, you have a transactional relationship that’s based on using the other person to get something for you because you yourself feel lacking and if that’s happening in your life I want you to know that there’s absolutely no shame in that because that’s how I did relationships for my first 43 years of life and it took not just my divorce because I didn’t get the message after my divorce like a string of breakdown relationships afterwards and a tendency of me to need to get my needs met with many because one wasn’t enough and I would blame it on them and their neediness and all that and it turns out I’m embarrassed to say all of my behavior, all of my addictions, all of my unconscious, all of my unconscious reactivity was simply because I did not fully own loving myself in my completeness and my wholeness, in my beingness without having to perform for it, without having to have a certain amount of money, without having to look a certain way, without having to me put myself out there as being some sort of a success, to be relevant to have people tell me and affirm me, my clients and tell me, “oh Nima! you’ve changed my life.” Look, “oh okay good I changed this person’s life”, therefore, now I’m worthy of love. let me know if anything that I’m saying is landing for you because if it is, I’m glad My goal is to help you understand that you’re not alone and that it makes perfect sense why you feel this way. Once you understand this little list, I made a little list of let’s see, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven reasons why you don’t love yourself. I’m gonna go over them right now I’d like you to just take a guess right in the comments section and guess for me why perhaps I’d don’t? If you’ve never met me before I’m a chiropractor by trade and it’s interesting because the definition of chiropractic is all about regulating the nervous system from mechanical, chemical and psychic stresses. Psyche means the soul and what I discovered was after 20 years of chiropractic and helping people with the mechanical stresses, adjusting their spine, I realized that the majority of their issue that was causing them to come in was a psychic stress as fracture of the soul from what, well like a friend of mine who just called me

and his 25-year marriage is a pretty much over, he’s met another woman, they have two kids together, he’s met another woman and he’s now been filed for these papers and she doesn’t want to talk to him and she’s cleaned out his bank accounts completely taking control of the finances and he’s like what the bullsh*t, oh, and he feels like paralyzed, loves one now torn, loves one woman, spending time with her and now he’s not quite sure about her. So, he’s like, “should I go back?” And he’s like that is a lost tortured soul that is a psychic stress and guess what that’s doing to his health? Take a wild guess of what happened to his chronic inflammatory bowel condition from years ago that was in remission? Guess what? It’s no longer in remission anymore It’s now full on, he’s now losing weight, he’s in deep trouble psychic stress okay and so as a chiropractor when I started studying and kind of helping my own challenges, I realized that my psychic stresses were preventing me from having healthy relationships, my psychic stresses caused by fractures in my early attachments that caused me to believe that I was not worthy of love, okay hold on one second, I have my team messaging me on Facebook messenger while I’m doing my live So, I just told them, “Hey I’m doing my life.” So, check this out. Why is it, why don’t you love yourself? Okay? So, marina says, [I guess maybe having super critical experiences in childhood like extremely strict parents] That’s it you’re getting warmer So, check this out here they are here it is number one; we go through traumas, early attachment traumas that cause us because we have no idea who we are. The only way that we’re able to see ourselves is through other people, in other words your mother, your father, your brother, your sister become mirrors to your perception and belief of who you are Does that make sense? And if your mother and father who have their own attachment traumas, there’s conflict, what happens? And there’s a shame that gets downloaded and there’s a lack of attunement, all of a sudden what happens is we swallow other people’s mirrors and then we internalize it and then we believe what the interpretation is all about and there’s several of these chances of these events I just wrote down a bunch, you’re gonna let me know if I’m missing any and what happens is all of a sudden our self, our sense of self becomes entangled with the conflicts that we go around us and without understanding and be having awareness we then go through life accumulating them one after another, one after another, one after another and all of a sudden, it’s no wonder you hit your 20s, your 30s and then you’re like, “I have depression, I have to go through divorce, this really, none of my relationships are working, I seem to be codependent I seem to be very needy of this thing outside of me” The answer is because you don’t love yourself. So, number one if you were in utero and there was pre-birth conflict between mom and dad the energy of sudden, stress causes this heightened sense of lack of safety causing us to dissociate from ourselves feeling, “I’m not safe and I’m not lovable” So, let me know if any of these are relevant for you. Say, “yes, this is relevant for me.” So, if you have, if there was conflict pre-birth, number one, with between parents if they’re, if like one of my friends, they split up right after she friend’s her mother, found out she was pregnant, well guess what? We have an unconscious egocentric self especially when we’re children, we make everything about us, so, if there’s

conflict that happens between mom and dad, well it’s because I’m bad it was my fault; I did a session earlier with a client who when she was four years old, was playing with daddy and then mom was getting jealous of the attention that daddy gave his little girl that was causing conflict and she was like, “oh my god it was all my fault”, she was like in tears, “it was all my fault. I’m a burden”, and she was like deep in that grief and she’s been carrying that with her all her life, right, Pre-birth conflict, childhood conflict. So why I’m saying that is we make everything about us so that was the first thing, pre-birth conflict. Number two reason why you don’t love yourself in utero stress because of family dynamics going on; when there’s conflict, when there’s challenge and an excessive amount of it, energetically you feel that as a child as a infant you feel it any pregnant women, any women here who have given birth remember in utero the child reacts to you and your emotions 100 percent, this is why the reason why I’m teaching this right now has become super important to me This year I’ve just gone nerding out and saying this is what I’m going to teach Now, why? Because I have a baby that’s due in a few weeks and over the last six months through corona, eight months like, all this whole freaking year I’ve been with my partner, she’s now my wife and we’re about to have a baby. I know that the way that my wife feels her level of stress is going to download and impact my child, our child, and have them feeling that they’re not accepted, not loved, that type of thing Let me know if that resonates with you, okay. In utero stress, number three reason why you don’t love yourself, the second that we are born there’s trauma birth, trauma that traumatic separation from your mother James Hollis says, oh my gosh this is one of my favorite quotes, Hollis recover, he says, this is what he says, “life is a series of attachment and losses, beginning from our disconnect from the womb, a primal trauma, from which we never fully recover.” Let me say that again “Life is a series of attachment and losses beginning from our disconnect from the womb, a primal trauma from which we never fully recover” I love that Hollis quote. I’m a big fan of James Hollis. Yeah. Thank you, Aaron. People are making some comments about it but when you go through birth trauma all of a sudden you are separated immediately the egocentric part of you, the trauma causes us to feel not safe, not worthy, not lovable, these are accumulating to our unlovability drawer of evidence. So, I want you to look at it as through your life from pre-birth, from in utero stress and from the birth you’ve now, you’re now gathering and collecting evidence to support the idea that you’re unlovable and Aaron you’re looking hard for this, right. Next one; separation from family for two three months. When I was two years old my mother and brother came to Canada from Iran and I experienced separation trauma not seeing my mother for three months for a two-year-old is really confusing separation from love immediately no through no fault of mine or through no fault of my mother’s, I made up the story that I was unlovable as a result of that, that unlovability that was deep in my body as a two-year-old that was long before that I was verbal, long before I had language it was in my body. So, I started acting out in ways to acquire love externally due to the lack of love that I had for myself separation from family, right. Now, in this world we are seeing, especially with people being held in the, during immigration when children are being separated from families that’s traumatic and this is causing the children to then believe that they’re unlovable, that separation from attachment wounds, those attachment wounds separation from caregivers are a trauma that causes us to believe that we’re unworthy of love and then we get that and then you file that in your evidence gathering,

that you’re unworthy of love Next one; if you see conflict in family Now, you start growing up, you’re now two years old, three years old and you and your little brother, little sister or big brother, big sister you have conflict or you see conflict between mom and dad happening constantly, or some of our clients you know I just spoke to a gentleman in Dubai, he grew up in Lebanon during the bombings and all of the stuff that’s going on boom conflict, if you’re constantly around conflict your nervous system doesn’t know what to do with it. At the age of two, three, four, five it concludes well then it must be that I’m not worthy of love and there is another more conflict between siblings and conflict there boom must be because I’m not worthy of love, I don’t love myself Next one; let’s say you’ve had sexual experiences in childhood, confusing because sometimes it’s with family members that you care about and you really love, like your brother, like your uncle and then or you also, acted out as a child with family members I know this could be very triggering, I understand It’s just, this is such an ongoing conversation with us in our community. When we’re talking about healing attachment traumas, the fact that you don’t want to talk about it, the fact that you want to turn this, turn this Facebook live off, the fact that you’re their crawling in your skin with this conversation is showing that that trauma is in your body and you’re holding on to the belief that you’re unworthy of love and it’s actually, you think that it’s something hidden that no one can see It’s so obvious in your body, it’s so, obvious that if you don’t pay attention and work through it, you will develop illnesses and diseases that are around this conflict. These conflicts that are unresolved that you hide away, these experiences of guilt of shame of confusion that you don’t feel safe, talking about that energy’s got to go somewhere, I’m sorry to say, the bad news is that your body takes it on If you don’t find the right tools, the right guide to help kind of unpack it and to have a community around you that when you’re sharing it other people are like, “oh my gosh, me too, the same thing happened, oh my gosh, me too”, not in a victimhood, kind of like pity party type of way but wow that’s really brave, shame cannot exist in the dark. It thrives, shame cannot exist in the light, it thrives in the dark So, any childhood experiences of sexuality, you are now going to, you’re not going to see it as, “oh that person who did that to me is confused, they’re traumatized probably themselves and they’re acting out their curiosities and their wounds onto me. It got nothing to do with me”. It’s actually just a connection, a bonding connection thing, you don’t think that you immediately go, “I’m shameful, I’m bad, I must have done something wrong, I’m not lovable”. And then you’re getting married with that bullsh*t in your body and then you’re trying to have a healthy relationship with that those rocks in your backpack and here’s the best part, you then try to keep hiding it and then you’ll have a child in that relationship and then all of a sudden all of your traumas get boom dumped onto the children unconsciously because of this conflict that you’ve been hiding and thinking that nobody can tell but it’s deep within your body left unfaced unresolved and then when you get triggered it gets passed down and if you don’t, all of a sudden you start noticing when the kids start to get a certain age if you don’t deal with it, starts happening to them and it’s not your fault and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. I’ve just been studying intergenerational trauma, it passes like a virus, it’s like a viral replication, one goes to many like a virus and it didn’t even start with you, it’s like blaming you for corona, if you caught coronavirus, blaming you for it, feeling ashamed, “oh I did something wrong, I caught the flu, I must be bad”, no no, it’s a viral passing, didn’t start with you and it didn’t start with the person that gave it to you and that you were just entangled and it makes perfect sense. If you really stop running and just look and face it this Facebook group is one of the few groups

I call it trigger proof but I I will trigger you in almost every single transmission episode and that’s not on purpose it’s just that I’m telling you the truth and there’s nothing more triggering than the truth, that’s why we lie, that’s why we put on masks, that’s why we we pretend, hold on one sec I got a timer that was my timer to stop talking because we have baby, kind of pregnancy photos so, I gotta get ready and we’re gonna go do the photo shoot and stuff like that because she’s about to pop and we gotta take some photos right [It takes years to take it out]. Well, no, Sam! it’s a lifestyle, it’s a choice, it’s a commitment, it doesn’t take years to take it out, it’s a lifelong thing, okay. It’s a lifelong endeavor, you’re never finished, you’re just healing different parts of you. Your job is to learn the tools, learn how to navigate it instead of just staying stuck in it, it will take years to take it out, it’s a process , 0:26:16.880,0:26:20.880 it’s a lifelong process, I’m continually getting triggered and integrating other different parts of me, other untraumatized parts of me that didn’t love themselves just like earlier this week I was in a deep kind of funk and I went inside through one of my overview meditations and I discovered it was a 21-year-old version of me who cheated on his exams in university that I was feeling ashamed about. That’s another little tick of evidence that I’ve been gathering in my drawer of “why I shouldn’t love myself?” And so, thank god, now I’ve totally forgot about him until similar stuff came up for me this week because I’m writing a book and I’m doing a webinar on codependency and healing and getting secure attachments so, all of my unworthiness and all of my old stories are coming up Anytime you level up it, brings the devil up but I at least have the tools, the trigger proof tool kit to go inside and resource myself so that I’m not stopped by these and they don’t paralyze me into, “oh my gosh, I don’t love myself. I can’t move forward in my career, in my business. I can’t put myself out there, I can’t serve because I’m just paralyzed by a by this trauma and lack of self-love.” If you don’t understand the tools and how this works that will happen These lack of self-love reasons will then take over and you don’t have power anymore. Does this make sense? So, sexual experiences in childhood then other childhood traumas, we’re talking falling off your bike accidents, you spilling the water and then getting the crap kicked out of you, one of my buddies called me the other day and we had the same conversation He’s so, triggered these days during coronavirus, he can’t stand the tyranny of the of the people You stand the tyranny of the people of the conspiracies and I’m just like I get it, I’m just not so thrown off by it What is this really going on? It goes oh, just the fact that this tyranny and I’m like, “all right”. So, where is this coming from? Like, where did you growing up? Where oh, did that? Where were you kind of feeling stuck at the hands of a tyrant? He goes, “oh my god, totally, my dad; he’s now confronted.” But he just doesn’t know how the skills to go back and heal the attachment trauma that this conspiracy theory thing is your confronted by, okay. His childhood trauma was when he was younger, his dad was just beating the crap out of his mother, his dad was literally beating the crap out of his mother, while she was pregnant and he was trying to stop but he had the guilt of not being able to stop your it and that’s still a trauma in his body He said, “oh really? Is that what’s going on? I thought, I got over at.” This is what he said, “but I thought I got over that, I did therapy, I did DeMartini work on it, me and my dad have a great relationship now”, I said, “yeah you got over it intellectually but the story is still in your body This is the key the story is still in your body.” All right so, any of your childhood traumas, falls, surgeries, we go under our ego-centric nature believes that we’re unworthy of love and that’s what happens then, we then get into school conflict with teachers. I remember my

grade 7 teacher Mrs. sims, she almost failed me, I just couldn’t connect with her even though my grades were amazing I just thought I was smarter than her, I was arrogant, thought I was smarter than her, she hated me so, she would constantly send me to the principal’s office and I found myself constantly at the principal’s office Well guess what I was thinking? I wasn’t thinking well, this place isn’t stimulating enough for my social life and I’m not inspired by the classes in learning So, I’m talking instead and they don’t like that and so that’s just because you’re not following their boundaries. It’s not because you’re a bad kid, it’s not because you’re bad, it’s not because you’re unlovable, I didn’t have the Mrs. tools at the time to be able to know that So, each time I had conflict with teachers, I believed, “I was unlovable.” I just did, there’s another more evidence that I’m not lovable and can’t love myself, now if you ever had bullying in the schoolyard I was the only brown kid in a white neighborhood, in Stittsville Ontario and so, what ends up happening? I get bullied, I get called all sorts of racist names, I don’t have the foresight to know, you know what, these kids are really ignorant, they must be really hurting and they’re acting out of their fear. No, my 13-year-old self-did not believe that My 13-year-old self-thought I’m a piece of bullsh*t loser and I’m not lovable and my skin is different, my name is different it must be because I’m unlovable. I hate myself and I went through massive depression as a teenager and this is exactly actually I’m grateful for it now because the reason why I’m talking to you right now, the reason why I feel that I found my strength and I found my power, was because of those painful memories that led me into doing work and finding that inner strength within myself and then I became a chiropractor and I moved to a small town and I just helped all those white people that used to be racist towards me They became my patients and I took care of them. So, it was really cool. Next one is relationship conflict; then you get into your teens and then you get into breakups and you get cheated on and then you cheat on other people because of your unconscious awareness and inability to have real intimacy with one person because look who taught you like really how were you taught? Who was your teacher? So, no wonder it wasn’t modeled well after you, it was modeled after you modeled the “me” conflict, you modeled after the dysfunction and so, when these things happen, we’re now accumulating more evidence of our unlovability and then you go into work and then how many work conflicts have you had? Each conflict you are now turning around, when you get triggered you, then go into self-abandonment boom, every trigger becomes a self-abandonment boom and if you don’t really get this and understand this your soul becomes exhausted and then your body starts to break down, you’ll get a long list of diagnoses of unknown origin, the doctors can’t figure out what the hell is the matter with you, it’s a psychic, emotional, soul, fracture that is being manifested in the body and the reason why this work is so important is, because if you don’t do it these adverse childhood events unresolved, lead to chronic illness later on. In other words, your life and your health depend on it If we don’t address the root cause of the root cause of which is “I don’t love myself”. Understand why and then work all in towards healing those attachment traumas, these health problems do not resolve Laura was in this situation because of all of that childhood trauma that didn’t start with her She has a grandparent that were in the concentration camps, so, all of that get that “I don’t love myself”, downloads onto her, she goes through one sexual trauma after another in Colombia in a Latin American macho culture, where she was taken advantage of boom she’s accumulated so much unlovability that guess what happens when she gets married and then has two kids, is it a big surprise that the type of relationship she attracts is with that it turns into abuse, not because it’s her fault, please get the distinction I get constantly called out for victim blaming,

if you can talk to Laura and maybe you can say something of there. if you’re listening what if someone that doesn’t love their self, do you tell them? Kathy work on the fact that you don’t love yourself We all have challenges with self-love but what you’re looking at them is a reflection of you, you’re really good, Kathy, at. Kathy trying to fix other people’s lack of self-love but what I would recommend you do if I have permission, because you’re asking is put the magnifying glass down and start looking in a mirror and if you can take care of that, don’t tell them that because if I told because how does it feel right now, when I’m telling you because Kathy has been reaching, I’m just saying Kathy’s been reaching out for the past few years and then running away because she gets scared. What if I told you that’s because you don’t love yourself? How would you feel are you taking? How? Then what I think, Kathy, I have some news for you, I think that you don’t love yourself Should I tell you that? No, I don’t think I don’t think, it’s my place to tell you that I think it’s obvious. I mean if you’re asking me, not unless you come to me, but I would actually look at myself, everything that you’re looking to try to fix or rescue in your kids or other people, if you were to just put the magnifying glass down, pick up a mirror and do the work on yourself and get away, get over all these excuses and stop running away, you then can lead by example because you can’t just tell someone to love themselves and then they go, “okay, I’m gonna try to love myself.” Now, how am I doing there? It doesn’t work, it can only be shown but [if they’re hurting themselves?] Yes, still they are hurting themselves A lot of people are, you’re hurting yourself with the lack of self-love, when you don’t love yourself, you’re hurting yourself, your need to rescue them, your need to rescue them is a distraction from the work that you’re doing to yourself because yes, you’re hurting yourself. I can tell you, you’re drinking too much, you’re hurting yourself but that doesn’t change the person. They must be empowered and if you want to help somebody else look in a mirror and work on you. I know this isn’t gonna land, I understand because I can tell the people that are there’s, yes, people that get this and they’re like, “okay, I gotta stop looking outside. I gotta start looking at me.” That’s my goal, here my goal, here is to have you really see that? This is not about other people, this is not about you fixing other people because that’s not yours to fix, you can’t get someone to love themselves by telling them, you can’t get them. I’ve been trying that with you for about five years, how’s that been working for me? It doesn’t work, you must be the one to decide that. This is important because here’s why if we don’t do this nothing will ever work to heal us, no hypnotherapy, no crystals, massage therapy, chiropractic, naturopath I’ve done it all, I’ve read all the books but I read the books but I’ve done the podcast, I’ve done the work, no, yes, no going to therapy and talking about it isn’t actually the work it requires, learning the art of rescuing all of those parts of you those 11 parts and beyond part of you that you can look at yourself and be able to really see and love those parts that you forgot a long time ago that you keep distracting yourself from finding, by make by fixing other people Every time you are looking to fix another person, there’s a younger part of you that’s like but what about “me”? And yes, it is and the problem is in order for you to love yourself you must go back and look at those parts and you might say but I don’t remember any of them and I say that’s because of all of the trauma, that’s because it’s so scary to go back and look at them but the good news is you can, the work is to heal the attachment wounds, the work is lifelong, the work is a commitment to being in the body, the work is a commitment to expanding your capacity to being able to handle stress, to be able to handle the

challenges of life, to be able to make life be more than just about feeling good, to be about living your life in towards something meaningful [It’s scary.] Yes, it is, which is why the people you’re trying to fix won’t do it because they need to have you lead by example So, the only way that this can happen is if you decide and make a commitment that my healing, my well-being is not just about me, that by me taking on this work I will break the cycle, I will break that viral transmission of intergenerational trauma Imagine Kathy if your parents got over their fears that you’re having right now and they actually, went in and healed their childhood wounding but it’s scary, okay. That’s fine then we get to pass it down to the next generation and have them deal with it and then have to deal with a mother and a father who are completely disconnected from themselves, disconnected from others, disconnected from their bodies, disconnected from love. The greatest gift you can give your friends, your family, is a self-loving parent, the greatest gift that I can give my community is a version of me that truly sees and owns and loves myself and is committed to the process of self-love and it is an awareness and it’s a practice and it’s not going to happen with a weekend workshop, it’s not going to happen with a podcast, it’s not going to happen with reading a book, those are information, information is great, right. Now, I’m giving you information. That’s great Kathy, I’ve given you information before haven’t you taken it? And you’re like “wow”, and then you kind of go back to the way that you were, right. Watching YouTube videos are helpful but YouTube videos they’re not gonna help and what helps is for you to learn the art of nervous system regulation and going in and practicing in a community in dialogue how to heal that inner child and so, this weekend I’m so, super stoked for those of you continuing down this journey, there’s several of you right on, I can see it that are actually going to be joining us on Sunday Sunday, it’s 4 p.m. to 7 p.m. pacific, so that’s 7 p.m. to 10 p.m. eastern and that’s Monday morning in Australia We’re doing the breath work and badassery event and this is the beginning of the process of healing those attachment wounds. It’s to connect with that younger self, with that inner child. I just left a link there for those of you that are coming I don’t know if there’s a problem, just I’m gonna leave a link down in the show notes, down in the notes that one doesn’t work yet and it’s going to be a lot of fun What we do is I lead you through a meditation where you connect with one of those younger parts that of the reason why you don’t love yourself, you will be exposed to one of them and you will have a chance to connect with them and then you’ll have a chance to actually learn the skills to continue with your practice and awareness of self-love because you have a bullsh*t ton of evidence to support why you’re not lovable and our work is to turn that around and those of you that are coming, that are stepping through, I’m really excited People have said that it’s like doing 10 years of therapy in three hours and it is because no therapy can replace the amazing transformation that happens when you go back to those younger parts of you and are able to rescue them So, follow the link in the comments, it would be amazing for you to have, for you to join us and start the process and you got to do it scared, you got to do it kind of nervous Everybody who starts is like but I’m scared but I’m nervous, you have your rational mind is now coming up with reasons why you shouldn’t? You think you’re gonna die, it’s scary, oh my gosh. It’s actually a lot of fun and everybody who finishes is like, “whoa, I am super glad that I did”. And that’s been this beginning of so many people’s transformations. Why is this important? So that during a global crisis you come on the other side saying, “oh actually, I love myself more.” And you have a chance to stop it from being passed down to the kids you can teach self-love to the kids not by telling them to but by showing them how and that’s by doing it yourself. See you at the next perfect time